Hazy
by steepedinshadows419
Summary: Post 4x02 - With everything good between him and Iris again, the last thing Barry expects is to wake up in a time when Iris is not his fiancee but instead the wife of a very alive Eddie Thawne. Barry/Iris. Multi-Chap.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I held a poll on tumblr for what fic my followers wanted me to write/start the last week of May (to be posted the first week of June) before I went on my westallen-writing hiatus until July. This was the most voted for option. I didn't have time to write any others. I haven't the slightest idea when I will update, but hopefully you will enjoy the first chapter.

 ***** Many thanks to **sendtherain** for beta'ing.

 ***** I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

* * *

 **Chapter 1 -**

 _We are the Flash._

Barry smiled softly to himself in his sleep, the phrase running over and over in his mind, warming him, filling him with a sense of assurance and love.

 _When I put this ring on my finger, it wasn't just about your or me anymore. It was about us._

 _How did I get so lucky_ , he wondered? To have Iris West not only be his best friend, his confidant, his constant support, but also to have her love him so passionately, so fiercely. She was his alone, and that fact honestly sent him into a tailspin sometimes. He might not have felt the past six months in the same way she did, but he knew how in love with her he was and how nearly losing her last year had gutted him every night and day. He could only imagine what she'd been through. Sex and love declarations and rainy days filled with cuddles were certainly helpful, but it was the unchanging feelings and loyalty between them that kept them as strong as they were.

He had to admit that Iris' insistence and then outburst during couples' therapy had made him worry a little. It was an oversight he could have avoided if he'd just sat still long enough during their quieter moments to pay attention, to see how she was silently suffering because of his lack of care, of realization.

Well, they'd fixed that now. Everything was okay. She'd saved his life, so he could save the day, and then he'd saved them by hearing her and listening and reacting in a way that healed.

When they got home, they shared another heart-to-heart, resuming their earlier interrupted conversation. But not much more needed to be said. At least not verbally. Arms wrapped around each other, lips and bodies connected in the most intimate way, euphoria; that solidified all that had been said and done between them earlier. There was trust and reassurance and happiness again. He knew everything was going to be all right.

And so, it surprised Barry that come morning – far earlier than either of them needed to be up – he opened his eyes to find himself alone in the bed. What's more, the bed didn't look familiar, and neither did the room.

 _What the…_

He looked around, pulled back the blankets and climbed out of the bed. He was in a t-shirt and plaid pajama pants – not what he had gone to bed in – and when he found a bathroom and looked in the mirror, there was patchy scruff all over his face. Making a mental note to shave as soon as possible, he left the room to explore what he could only guess was supposed to be his apartment.

He didn't know why he thought that. Maybe he had been kidnapped. Maybe he'd left to go somewhere, gotten drunk, and – no, you idiot. You're a speedster. You can't get drunk.

But it didn't feel like either option anyway. It felt like this place was _his_.

He spotted a cell phone across the disgustingly messy room and snatched it from the table it lay charging on. Luckily his fingerprint worked just fine – _knew it was mine_. The background was different. Not a picture of Iris or anyone he knew. Just…black. _Weird_.

He found Iris in his contacts though and exhaled a sigh of relief.

 _Thank God._

He pressed the phone to make the call and then waited.

"Hello-"

"Hey, Iris, listen-"

"You've reached Iris West-Thawne. I'm unavailable to answer the phone right now. Please leave me a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks! Bye!"

His mouth ran dry. The phone slipped through his fingers. At the very last second, he caught the phone and set it back on the table, but his hands were shaking.

"No. No, it can't be…" He shook his head, wandering over to the couch and sitting down.

Had he gone back in time again? He couldn't remember running that fast or deliberately thinking of a moment in time to change. He couldn't recall anything except going to bed with Iris that night – Iris, _his_ fiancée.

Besides, Eddie was dead. He was _dead_.

The phone started vibrating on the table where he'd left it, yanking him from his confused, mortifying state. He swallowed hard, horrified to investigate. But the curiosity ate at him. After all, it could be someone who could clear up this giant mess, who could tell him this was a dream.

 **IRIS CALLING**

He stretched out the ring, so it lasted forever, so he could make a decision on whether or not to answer. He waited for it to end for as long as he possibly could. Then, he picked it up.

"Hey…Iris," he said on a strangled breath.

"Hey." He could practically feel her brows furrowing over the phone. "What's up? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." He cleared his throat and folded his arms across his chest. "What's going on?"

She was silent for a moment, probably not believing him for crap – especially if she was still his best friend. He didn't blame her. He was still in too much shock to believably pretend everything was normal – whatever constituted for normal wherever he was. He was also a terrible liar.

"I, uh…just wanted to reach out, see if you were busy."

"Nope, not too busy," he said quickly.

 _Slow down, Barry_ , he scolded himself.

"Okay, well, um…you still haven't RSVP'd to our invitation yet."

His brows furrowed in confusion, though he had a pretty good idea who the 'our' was referring to.

"Invitation?"

"The anniversary party?"

 _No, no, no._

"Um…"

"For me and Eddie? Barry, we talked about this. It's our two-year anniversary. You promised me you'd at least think about it."

"Yeah."

"Yeah? Yeah, what?"

"Yeah, I'll come."

A pause, then the happiness bubbled out of her.

"Really, Barry? You'll come?"

He forced a tight smile. _You're my best friend, Iris_ , he would've said if this was the timeline he knew except with Eddie not having died. But he didn't know what they were to each other here.

"Just remind me of the address, date, and time, and I'll be there."

He knew from the barely detectable sigh that he'd been given this information multiple times before, but he decided to play dumb.

Because what came next was the last thing he could have ever prepared himself for.

Iris and Eddie lived at his and Iris' loft. The party was in two days – ironically the day Barry had his first successful date with Iris. And the time was to the minute of when he'd arrived back at STAR Labs with Iris after having saved her from the Samurai just a few days prior.

"I know it's a weird time," Iris was saying. "But I figure no one will actually come at that exact moment, so why not let my husband be particular about this one little thing?" She laughed lightly.

"Right," he said numbly.

"Barry, are you sure you're okay?"

One thing. He had to ask her one thing.

"Iris…are we best friends?" he asked.

"Of _course_. Barry, of course we are. We always have been."

 _Well, that's a relief._

"What's happening? Is something going on you need to talk about? You know you can tell me anything."

He seriously doubted that; at least with this Iris.

"I know," he said instead. "I'm okay. Just tired."

"You're sure."

"Positive. I'll see you at the party, Iris."

Click.

He tossed the phone further down the couch where he sat and ran a hand through his hair. He then pinched himself about a dozen times to see if maybe he was dreaming. He'd heard sometimes that worked.

It didn't.

He slumped back into the couch and let the drowning feeling consume him.

 _What. The. Hell._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** No clue when I'll update again, but hopefully you enjoy the chap! Reviews are appreciated!

 ***** Many thanks to **sendtherain** for beta'ing.

 ***** I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

* * *

 **Chapter 2 -**

He wanted to die.

It was the day of the party, and he still had zero idea of how to prepare himself.

The last two days of asking around about this particular timeline – because that had to be what this was – amounted to him being an ass of a best friend for skipping out on nearly every Eddie and Iris event after she'd rejected him… and everything else being the same.

Well, except for one thing. He wasn't the Flash and apparently had never had super speed, at least not that anyone knew of. He'd just been extremely lucky to come out of a coma that was _not_ caused by a particle accelerator explosion; and so, Wells – actually Eobard Thawne – Caitlin and Cisco had no idea who he was. Also, Ronnie was alive.

Okay, so maybe there were a few things that were different.

The nice thing was Joe seemed to blame all of his odd behavior and interrogating on the fact that they'd have to celebrate Eddie and Iris' two-year anniversary today, and he was still not pleased, having continued to root for Barry and his daughter to get together long after Eddie had put a ring on Iris' finger.

Barry hadn't dated, and for the most part tended to practically live at CCPD, drowning himself in paperwork that – without super speed – took forever to do. Joe behaved similarly. Iris wasn't fooled by their insistence that they were fine but was apparently still convinced Eddie was the love of her life. She was just sad the two most important men in her life couldn't or wouldn't accept that.

Heaving a heavy sigh, Barry examined the two shirt options before him. He'd already resolved to wear khakis – he was not dressing up for an event he didn't want to be at; besides, it was summer – but for some reason the shirt was a hang-up. Did he go with the short-sleeved baby blue lightweight polo? Or the soft green-and-white plaid button-down with wide-hanging sleeves almost to his elbow?

Iris was his go-to in a decision like this. In fact, she'd been helping him out with his wardrobe since he returned from Flashpoint. He supposed it would be awkward and maybe inappropriate if he asked for her help now, though. She was probably frantically getting ready for her party and helping Eddie figure out what to wear. He gagged as the image of them getting 'distracted' while getting dressed flashed before his eyes.

He shook his head, then reached for the baby blue. Plaid was probably just a little bit too casual for an anniversary party, even if it had been his trademark for a good long while before Iris started to step in and adjust his wardrobe.

"There's nothing wrong with plaid and over-sized sweaters," she'd told him in that other life. "But there's a time and a place, Bear, and every day is not it."

He'd chuckled and allowed her to sift through his wardrobe, stuffing away everything she didn't think he'd need any time soon into a box to be put into storage. He'd frowned and complained that he didn't want to wait months to wear his precious plaid and sweaters again, to which she consented that he could leave the box in his closet and go through it whenever he liked.

"It's almost like we're moving in together," he'd said thoughtlessly, under his breath, but she'd heard it and gasped and he turned a bright red. It would still be a good month and a half before he presented her with the loft that he'd already started searching for, but he still wanted it to be a surprise.

Luckily, enough crises occurred during their time to make her forget all about it.

Well. Almost.

"You were already looking for this place a couple months ago, weren't you?" she'd asked after they finished their first round of sex on top of his jacket on the empty loft floor. Her fingers were gliding gracefully across his cooling chest, and he couldn't find the words to speak.

"Thought so," she'd said smugly.

He let out a soft, nervous laugh, and she calmed him down with a small, lingering kiss to his lips; which then escalated to the next round of sex and the next and the next until it was decided if they kept going at it on the floor with only his jacket beneath them, they'd wake in the morning feeling sore with bruises all over.

"At least I'd know you're mine," he chuckled lightly, dressing himself so he could speedily run out and dump the mattress he'd bought for them in the middle of the room as well.

"You should already know that," she said, pushing him back onto the mattress and climbing on top of him, her hair in messy locks draping around her face.

And then the moment turned soft and declarations of love were exchanged again, making their next round incredibly slow and utterly romantic as they stayed locked in each other's arms, never tearing their eyes away from each other, and swallowing each gasp with swollen lips as their tongues tangled, paralleling what the lower halves of their bodies were doing.

Barry opened his eyes now – in the present; in this weird, warped timeline – and looked at himself in the mirror, the baby blue shirt clutched in his hands and the saddest look in his eyes. He wasn't in his timeline anymore.

Which meant Iris wasn't in love with him. She wasn't engaged to him. She wasn't dating him. She didn't have feelings for him period, except as a best friend.

He felt a pain in his chest at the possibility that he might be stuck here forever, living a life of unimportance, without love or meaning or the ability to really save people.

There was a buzz from the com by the door. Barry slipped the shirt over his head and made sure he looked presentable before the buzz sounded two more times.

"I'm coming, I'm coming…" He pressed the button to respond. "Who is it?"

"It's me, son," Joe voice came through. "I, uh…thought we might go together. You know, for emotional support."

Barry half-groaned, half-laughed.

"That sounds like a great idea. I'll be right down."

…

Despite knowing exactly the nature of Iris and Eddie's relationship, Barry was still absolutely dumbfounded by the picture staring back at him. He traced his fingers over himself in the picture frame. He was dressed nice, as was usually the case for weddings. But it wasn't his wedding he had attended. There was no ring on his finger. There was one on Iris', though – two actually; and one on the man beside her shaking his hand. Very much alive and beaming beside his blushing bride, stood Eddie Thawne, husband of Iris West-Thawne.

Barry felt the urge to vomit well-up in his throat again. He swallowed the bile gathering there and set the frame back down.

"Oh, don't put it down. I love that picture!" Iris gushed as she returned to him with a beer in that beautiful sundress that he could've sworn he gave to her for _their_ first wedding anniversary.

He forced a smile. "Yeah, me too." He took the beer she held out to him, reminding himself not to get drunk and make a scene, even if he technically was physically able to now. "Thanks."

"Are you enjoying yourself?" she asked, well aware that he'd done nothing but walk from picture to picture in the living room with a wary look on his face.

"Mhmm," he said, moving to the next one as he brought the beer to his lips.

Iris licked her lips and followed him, no doubt starting to worry.

"I'm really glad you agreed to come today, Barry." _And that you actually came_ , she silently added. "I know things haven't been great between us for a while, but this is a great first step." Her voice suddenly brightened. "And I know once Eddie sees you trying to close the gap and move forward, he'll be much more civilized in his…interactions with you."

Barry frowned and glanced back at the framed picture he'd set down only a minute ago. Eddie had looked thrilled. He couldn't possibly be jealous if at, his own wedding, he'd been so over-the-moon just shaking his hand.

He looked back at Iris.

"Iris, did I… _do_ something?"

Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. Then her lips thinned, and her eyebrows narrowed.

 _Uh-oh._

"Are you seriously asking me that?

He winced. _Yep. He had definitely done something._

"…Yes?"

She fumed. "Don't tell me you've forgotten. I know it's been two years, but I thought you were over denying what happened as an excuse to badger Eddie into being reproachful towards you."

"Iris…" His voice broke.

As annoyed as he was by this whole situation, it hurt him that he hurt her.

"I'm sorry."

She started, shocked for a moment, and he realized in this timeline he must've not told her once that he was.

She shook her head.

"Well, thank you, but you need to tell Eddie that. I want us to be friends. All of us. But if you can't accept him and us, there's no way that can happen."

He frowned. "I thought you said we were best friends."

"We are! And we always will be, but…you can't do what you did and expect my husband to like you. Or even want to speak to you, frankly."

He was starting to feel attacked.

"Iris, you better tell me what I did, or I'm going to be really confused by why you invited me at all if Eddie can't stand me being around you."

Her bottom lip trembled.

"You're right, Barry. I don't know what I was thinking." She snatched the beer from his hand and spun around to walk away.

"Wait, Iris, please-" He reached for her arm and grabbed it just in time. "Please tell me what I did," he pleaded, desperation pooling in his eyes. "I really don't remember." A thought came to him. "I've been…forgetting a lot over the last couple days. I don't know what's happening to me."

She softened and turned back around, looking incredibly worried.

"You're the telling the truth?" He nodded. "This isn't some sort of trick you're using to get between me and Eddie again?"

"It's not a trick, Iris. I've been asking Joe questions for days, because I just can't remember."

She looked like she ached for him, and her sad eyes mirrored his.

"You kissed me at our wedding, Barry," she said softly. "You asked to dance with me during the reception and, in the middle of the dance floor, you kissed me. Not on the cheek or the forehead or somewhere a friend should kiss. You kissed me on the lips and told me you were in love with me."

Barry dropped her arm, mortified but also kind of applauding this version of him that had been so bold. Even if he'd waited longer to tell Iris how he felt about her, way too late for her to even consider him. He understood now.

"I…" Then a thought occurred to him. "Wait. Did you kiss me back?"

Her eyes widened and she took a step back.

"Even without memories – if that's true at all – you're still an ass."

She spun around and walked away.

"Wait, Iris!"

"Go home, Barry."

"Iris!"

"Leave."

At that moment, Eddie descended the staircase, all smiles and some curiosity.

"What's going on down here?" Then he found Barry standing in the corner with a picture of himself and Iris in his hands, and his eyes narrowed. "What is _he_ doing here?" He turned to see Iris looking away from the scene where she stood by the stools bordering the kitchen. "Iris."

She lifted her head up to reveal a tear-filled gaze.

"Did he do something to you?" Eddie asked, approaching her but she stepped back.

"No, it's fine. I'm fine, Eddie."

Eddie turned back to look at Barry, oblivious to Joe standing on the balcony just beyond watching the scene unfold.

"You son of a bitch." He strode across the room, fearlessly reeling his arm back so the punch he threw to Barry's jaw would really hurt. And without his speed, well, Barry wasn't very good at dodging.

As he fell to the floor, the picture slipped from his fingers and the glass cracked, sending a few shards across the wood floor.

"Eddie!" Iris cried out, dashing towards him immediately to prevent him from possibly throwing another punch.

"Barry!" Joe came inside and helped his pseudo-son off the floor. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He rubbed his jaw. "I probably deserved it, anyway."

"Hell yeah, you did," Eddie said, heaving, his fists clenched at his sides as Iris gripped his arms.

"I'm gonna go."

"I'll come with you," Joe said.

"No, you should stay. She's your daughter. I'm just going to…walk it off."

And so, no one moved as Barry walked past the lot of them to the door, limping a little. He didn't turn and look back, but he had a pretty good feeling that this was exactly what had happened at Iris and Eddie's wedding, and that was why Iris had liked that picture of Eddie shaking Barry's hand as he wished them well.

It was the last time there had been a decent exchange between the two of them. The last moment before he'd probably gotten drunk off his ass and decided that Iris' wedding reception was the best time to tell her he was in love with her and kiss her to prove it.

He rubbed his jaw and stepped into the elevator, spotting Iris coming out of the loft with a worried look on her face and an ice pack in her hand just as the doors closed.

He was an ass, alright, but now he was one with a sore jaw. Again.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Again, no clue when this will be updated again, since this chap was commissioned. But I hope you enjoy!

 ***** Many thanks to **sendtherain** for beta'ing.

 ***** I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

* * *

 **Chapter 3 -**

After about an hour had passed and Iris didn't magically appear next to him on the rooftop at Jitters', Barry decided to retreat to the place that was not quite his home only to have to get up two seconds after he'd sat down thanks to a knock on the door.

His heart fluttered, thinking maybe it was Iris with her good intentions, sad eyes, and dripping ice pack.

Guilt swept through him when the first emotion to hit him was disappointment at the voice that did follow the knocking.

"Let me in, son. I saw you walking into the building. I know you're in there."

Barry sighed and got to his feet, feeling the swelling in his untended jaw burning in pain. Apparently, the chilly air hadn't numbed him like he'd told himself it would in the back of his mind.

Another knock followed the too long silence it took for him to answer it.

"Barry."

He sighed and opened the door, not even bothering to check the peephole.

Joe's face fell when he saw him.

"You sound a little like a stalker, Joe." He tried for a half-hearted smile. It didn't work on the man that had raised him since he was 11 in any timeline.

"You should've stayed and let Iris give you that ice pack."

Barry snorted and turned around, leaving the door open for Joe to walk inside.

"Because that would've gone sooo well with Eddie there _fuming_ in the background."

"Eddie left right after you."

Barry quirked an eyebrow. "He did?"

Joe nodded.

"He was, uh… Unaware that Iris extended an invitation to you and stormed out after telling Iris she should've known better than to 'do such a thing'." He shook his head. "I was hoping he'd threaten divorce, but it hasn't happened yet. He'll probably come crawling back to her at the end of the night apologizing. And she'll forgive him immediately, as long as he swears not to hurt you again. Rinse, repeat, recycle."

Joe collapsed into the chair beside Barry before quickly getting up and putting a makeshift ice pack together in the kitchen. He wrapped it in a thin towel before delivering it to him.

"Here. Put this on your face. I'll get us some beers."

The mention of alcohol reminded Barry of a thought that had occurred to him on his long walk back to the apartment. His eyes widened, and he had to will himself not to spring up out of his seat. If his sore jaw hadn't healed an hour later, and the last time this had happened had been a year ago when he'd been _drunk_ …did that mean…?

"Hey, Joe?"

"Yeah?" he called from inside the fridge.

"Do I have…" What was the best way to say this? "Super speed?"

Joe lifted his head and came back with the beers.

"Not last time I checked. Unless you've been keeping it from me." He gave him a dangerous look.

"What? No! I haven't. It's just…um…I had this dream…" He licked his lips.

"Son, you know better than to give credence to any childish dreams…"

"But Caitlin, Cisco, Dr. Wells-"

He half-laughed. "I don't know who Caitlin and Cisco are in your dream, but as far as I can tell Dr. Wells has always been and continues to be – up until this moment maybe – your idol. His particle accelerator went operational three years ago, and I'm positive it's the only thing you talk about more than Iris." He gave him a pointed look.

Barry sucked in a breath.

"What?" Joe demanded, the tip of the beer bottle at his lips.

"N-Nothing. I'll be right back."

Barry scrambled to his feet and ran to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. He looked into the mirror and saw the not yet healed bruising bump still present along his jaw. There was a wave like water in the mirror that freaked Barry out, mostly because for a moment it looked as if he was completely healed and vibrating. But then the mirror stilled again, and he was the same as before.

Scared to test it out, Barry reluctantly brought his hand up to eye level. He closed his eyes, willed his hand to vibrate and opened his eyes to see it doing just that! A moment later, it stopped, and his heart nearly did with it. It vibrated again a few seconds later but to a much lesser degree.

It was just as he feared, just like what happened in Flashpoint.

No particle accelerator explosion, no chemicals mixed with a bolt of lightning, no evil Dr. Wells _maybe_ , no metahumans, no Flash.

He was losing his powers. Again.

…

The next day, Barry sat in his lab, trying to piece together cases he couldn't remember being briefed about or attending the crime scenes of. _Because this is a different timeline, idiot_. It was frustrating because he probably didn't have much time left before his powers disappeared entirely. He'd probably remember the events of this timeline if that happened, but then he'd be stuck here forever. He wouldn't even remember he'd had super speed once. And all possibility of him returning to an Iris West with _his_ ring on her finger would flit out of existence.

The worst of it all was that he couldn't remember going back in time and changing anything, certainly not something that would bring back Eddie and have him married to Iris when he returned to the present. And if he couldn't remember what he'd changed, how was he supposed to go back and change it to what it had been before?

He could practically here Jay's voice in his head telling him not to be foolish and just deal with the changes that had been made, but he just couldn't do that. He couldn't live in a timeline where all possibility of him and Iris ending up together was gone and he wasn't the Flash. The former he had believed for years because he never thought she'd feel the same way, but even in this timeline it appeared she had. If she had indeed kissed him back when he'd drunkenly kissed her at her wedding reception.

 _What a moronic move_ , he thought to himself, shaking his head.

But then again, maybe he was a lot bolder in this timeline.

A knock at the doorframe drew his attention out of his depressing thoughts. Who he saw, though, was hardly who he'd expected. He was surprised he hadn't heard the click-clacking of heels coming down the hallway.

"Iris," he breathed, his eyes going wide.

"Hey, Bear," she said weakly, attempting a smile and not really succeeding.

"What are you-" He started to stand up.

"Can I come in?" she asked, and he swore she was almost trembling.

"Yeah, yeah, of course. But Eddie-"

"He's not downstairs. I checked. He must be out in the field with my dad."

Barry nodded reluctantly, willing to believe anything at this point. He'd been so absorbed in not understanding the case files and the dreadful state of his relationship with Iris that he hadn't really been aware of anything happening outside the lab.

She started moving towards him quickly, and he thought she was going to hug him. He lifted his arms just in case, but she stopped herself just before he was in reach and wouldn't move any further.

"How are you doing?"

He wanted to laugh at how ludicrous the question was, but he knew she was serious and referring to his injury, probably not the state of their relationship.

"I'm all right, Iris," he said softly. "Joe came by last night with an ice pack and got me drunk."

She snorted, but then came closer and tenderly touched the black and blue spot along his jaw. She winced when he did. It still hurt.

"Have you been icing it today?"

Reluctantly, he turned and gestured to the very tall pile of case files.

Her eyes widened.

"Your pile is never that big. Have there been a lot of crimes today? We didn't hear about them at CCPN."

He shook his head.

"I can't concentrate…I can't remember."

Her shoulders slumped. "Oh, _Barry_."

He turned back to her. "I'll ice it again when I get home. Don't worry about me, Iris."

She sighed and found herself a chair.

"I wish things hadn't gotten so complicated."

He saw tears welling up in her eyes and hated himself in this timeline. How stupid could he be to wait until her wedding _reception_ to tell her how he felt? Not that the timeline he knew best was much better, but at least she wasn't married yet.

"Iris…I'm so sorry. I never meant for you to get hurt. I was an idiot that night. I shouldn't have waited so long to…" He trailed off. There was no use talking about it now.

"No, you shouldn't have," she said, and his eyes went wide. But she quickly shook her head. "I mean, I could've let you down easy in a more private, earlier setting. Now we're not even friends."

That kicked him in the gut. He couldn't erase her rage when he asked if she'd kissed him back if he tried.

"Is there nothing you can do to convince Eddie to…"

She shook her head. "No. I've tried. Believe me, I have tried. He's usually such an easygoing guy. I really thought that a year later-" She sighed, aggravated. "I really hate that he punched you. It's like he's trying to make history repeat itself, as if that will make him feel better."

He was a quiet for a bit, then, "Joe told me Eddie left after I did yesterday."

She nodded. "I was angry with him for punching you, and he told me-"

"I know."

"I thought my dad was going to pummel him for saying those things." She laughed lightly. "You know how overprotective he can be."

 _And how much he wants you and I to be together_ , Barry thought, but he was smart enough not to say it out loud.

"Yeah, I know."

Iris leaned forward and wrapped her fingers around one of his hands. His heart beat faster.

"I want you to know that I'm on your side. I know what you did was a mistake. I don't know why you brought up again, but don't worry. It's forgiven."

"Iris-"

"It's forgiven," she said firmly. "Forgiven and forgotten."

There was no point arguing. "Okay."

"I miss my best friend, Barry. I don't know what it's going to take for Eddie to let you be a part of my life again, but…I think I might have an idea."

His brows furrowed. "What?"

"I know you can't possibly still have feelings for me," she said, and held up her hand when he tried to interrupt her. "I know you don't. But…" She licked her lips. "You also haven't seen anybody else for the past year. Well, more than that. But…I guess what I'm trying to say is…maybe if Eddie saw you dating someone else-"

" _Iris_."

"If he saw you dating someone else," she repeated. "Maybe he'd be convinced you don't have feelings for me, and he'd let us start seeing each other again." Her eyes widened at the implication. "As friends."

 _I don't think that's the only problem_ , he thought, but kept his mouth shut again.

"Iris…"

He was weary, so weary of these games. Because that's what it would be. A game to satisfy her, to trick Eddie into thinking he was over Iris when he would never be. And that had always been clear as day to everyone but Iris.

"Just think about it, Barry? For me?"

He sighed, those magic words forever his undoing. He couldn't say no to her. He couldn't.

"For you."


End file.
